When we are caring for our children, the plan is usually to raise and protect them and when they are old enough and ready, they move on to start their lives as adults.
The same is not true when we start caring for compromised elderly loved ones. Instead of getting better, we are watching them get worse, Changing from the person we used to know and count on to a person that can push all our buttons and become someone we do not recognize. Dementia is very tough especially if you have not worked with it before.
When a parent or loved one is diagnosed with a debilitating disease, it is asy to say I will take care of them! We tell ourselves, I can check on them everyday, I can move them in with me, or I can move in with them. Easy Peasy!
Unfortunately that is not always the case. It may be smooth sailing for a little while but unlike our babies who grew up, our loved one will start going backwards. Things will get harder, Diseses, neurological conditions, strokes, dementia, just to name a few, MAY NOT GET BETTER! There may be small reprieves but the declining process has begun.
Its hard at times to be caregiver and child. The role of child can be left behind as you are constantly caring for an adult person whom may not be ready or fully understand that they need help and care. Be mindful to constantly step back and look at the big picture, They are not who they once were. Cognitive decline can change personalities, make the meek and mild become fitful and arguementative. It is important to get help, take breaks ask others to help, It Is OK to seek help. Caregiver burn out is real!!
I hope in some way I can help you. The most important thing is that your parent needs their child too, not just a caregiver. Those lines can become skewed and it can become very easy to become resentful or angry, just always remember, The person you are caring for was a big part of your life and they would not choose to be a burden or act rudely. It is an unfortunate part of life sometimes. It is not fair and it can be a cruel change. Just remember to Breathe and get help when you need it.